Dear Irfan, 15 months on

Dear Irfan,

I have never written to you before. I had a letter for Nadra, and that too was long ago. So many things have happened and I do not even know where to begin with.

You are now 15 months my little boy and your developments have never failed to amaze your father and I.

Whilst being a second child, you never showed any jealousy towards your sister. In fact, your easy going nature since young has got us so thankful. It made Nadra adjusted with your presence quickly and loves you with all her heart. I know she sometimes does things to irritate you, but do know she meant well. She calls no one else “Cute Cute Boy” except for you and kisses you the moment we fetched you from school.

Ever since a baby, you are an observer. You observed everything, like how we read our books, comb our hair, Nadra dances, and even when Nadra was having her un-glamorous meltdown!

It took you awhile to get used to loving the water but you did eventually. Straddling in the kid’s pool is no problem at all. You love to read. Every night without fail you would go into Nadra’s room, takes a few books and hands them to me.

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It really warms my heart how every weekday without fail, you would wait patiently for us to fetch you at your school’s door, with eyes lighted up immediately at the sight of us. No words needed to know how much we meant to you, as much as you meant to us.

At 15 months, you are rather independent and listen to instructions very well. Just the other day, you tried so hard to take off your pants. In the process, you fell forward and bump your forehead. But that did not stopped you. Not only did you managed to take off your pants, you took off your diaper as well. You love to clean. We bought you your own cleaning set because ours are not meant for children. They are too long and dirty. We could never save on tissues at home. Every spill you make or every crumb you drop, you would grab a bunch of tissues to clean it up. Well, that is totally fine with me but your father thinks that we should not waste tissues. You thrive when given tasks to do. Your current tasks are to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and throw your soiled diapers in the rubbish bin. Oh how these tasks bring so much joy to you. The moment you’ve completed your task, you would clap your hands, smiled and walked away full of triumph. Sometimes I wish I have feelings like you, easily content with the simplest thing. As we grow up, our emotions are tainted by so many things and sometimes, we do not know how to feel happy and satisfied anymore. I hope you will remember all this tiny little things that makes you happy. Life will be so much better.

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And Irfan, you do have your moments too. There are meltdowns and fights and screams that tested our patience. Like how you screamed and refused to let anyone feed you at the restaurant cause you wanted to self-feed even though you knew it will spill and create a huge mess which we have to clean up later. Or, how you refused to go out of the bathroom and ended up pinning yourself on the bathroom floor. Or, how you peeled away the bumper guard cause we told you that you can’t climb onto the tv console. Or even throwing whatever you are holding when we denied you something that you want. Real temper you have there. We understand these emotions are all new to you. Do not worry, we will guide you along.

As I dropped you in school today, seeing how you placed your shoes into your cubby-hole, waved me goodbye and hurried to play. I realised how much you have grown in the past 15 months. I may not be the best mother around but until I learn to be right, I hope you will be patient with me as how you have been all this while.

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Love you always,
Your Ummi

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